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The 12 days of project management

On the first day of the project my sponsor gave to me: a business case to write

On the second day of the project my sponsor gave to me: two project initiation documents to pick from and a business case to write

On the third day of the project my sponsor gave to me: three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the fourth day of the project my sponsor gave to me: four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the fifth day of the project my sponsor gave to me: five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the sixth day of the project my sponsor gave to me: six clashing customer meetings, five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the seventh day of the project my sponsor gave to me: seven schedule revisions, six clashing customer meetings, five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the eighth day of the project my sponsor gave to me: eight client change requests, seven schedule revisions, six clashing customer meetings, five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents and a business case to write

On the ninth day of the project my sponsor gave to me: nine high priority risks, eight client change requests, seven schedule revisions, six clashing customer meetings, five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the tenth day of the project my sponsor gave to me: 10 budget cuts, nine high priority risks, eight client change requests, seven schedule revisions, six clashing customer meetings, five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the eleventh day of the project my sponsor gave to me: 11 minutes’ notice of the steering committee meeting,  ten budget cuts, nine high priority risks, eight client change requests, seven schedule revisions, six clashing customer meetings, five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the twelfth day of the project my sponsor gave to me: 12 unhappy stakeholders, 11 minutes’ notice of the steering committee meeting, ten budget cuts, nine high priority risks, eight customer change requests, seven schedule revisions, six clashing customer meetings, five different requirements documents, four new steering committee members, three different budgets, two project initiation documents, and a business case to write

On the twelfth day of the project I quit.

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